My Festibond date with Hayley was December 22nd. We went ice skating and then to dinner. It was a great time. Hayley is a terrific conversationalist, and I enjoyed getting to know her better.
Skating was fun. We held hands and talked as we made laps around the rink. Hayley remarked that there was a sign hanging up for “Greely Girls Hockey” and another for just “Greely Hockey.” She recognized the inequality and preference for the boys team, for which I was proud. After a while, both our feet were hurting from the awful rental skates, so we stopped for a rest, then decided we were done skating.
On the drive back to Portland for dinner, I called Zapoteca for a reservation. The soonest we could get in–the soonest they were serving entrées–was 16:00, so we had about an hour and a half to do something else.
Our first stop was to the Old Port Candy Company where Hayley filled a bag full of Jelly Belly jellybeans. It was so cute, because many of the bins were a bit too high for her to reach easily, so when she’d pull the scoop of jellybeans out a few would fall to the floor, bouncing noisily across the store. For as long as I stood there, it seemed, she scooped candies into her little bag.
Next we went to the Cool As a Moose store on Fore Street, which is a small gift shop that caters to tourists. We got Hayley a t-shirt, refrigerator magnet, and paracord bracelet.
Still having time before our dinner reservation, we visited the LeRoux Kitchen on Commercial Street, since Hayley like to cook and bake. They have a large selection of flavored vinegars. I encouraged Hayley to try one, which she did. It was so funny to see her precious face grimace as the bitter liquid reached her tongue.
Before going to Zapoteca for dinner, we drove up to the Eastern Promenade. On the snowy hill was a snow person that had had its head come off and roll down the hill. Hayley described it as “discombobulated,” which I thought was pretty impressive word for her age. When we got to the bottom of the hill I drove the car down the boat ramp so we could get a better look at the bay. Hayley insisted I back the car straight up, as being so close to the freezing water was making her nervous.
Dinner was amazing. We enjoyed salsa and bacon guacamole for our appetizer. My entrée was a filet with mushrooms on a pureed potatoes, and Hayley had chicken and cheese tacos with watermelon and beans on the side. She had initially ordered the pulled pork tacos, which she said were too hot. It’s especially funny to me, because last year for our date we ate at the same restaurant, and she turned her plate back then for the same reason.
During our entertaining conversation, Hayley wondered why people make a distinction between “natural” and everything else, because a regression inevitably leads to what is inarguably natural. We explored the reasons, definitions, and what it all means.
At one point Hayley asked me what is the sport of polo. After I explained it to her and said that because it requires horses it’s a sport primarily for wealthy people, she suggested they invent a similar sport with bicycles that they could call PPP, or Polo for Poor People.
On the drive home, Hayley informed me that there are seven types of poop, and that some people with a particular disease have purple poop. She also said that an artist pooped in cans and sells his “Artist Shit” for $150,000. She suggested many other ways people could spend their money, including simply donating it to a charity.
My date with Hayley was a lot of fun. She’s a very bright, fun, witty kid with a great sense of humor. Her grasp of logic and sense of ethics makes for very interesting conversations.
Festibond 2013 Hayley’s date with Dad
Hayley Danler, Danler.org, January 4, 2014