Tag Archives: starbucks

Mystery: Spontaneously Manifolding Oatmeal

Walking to Starbucks
Walking to Starbucks

This morning our whole family walked to Starbucks in Saco to enjoy the beautiful weather, wonderful Starbucks concoctions, our books and each other. Along the way Kirsten and I demonstrated to Jenna the intricacies of sidewalk navigation and how to be a good and safe pedestrian. It was a glorious morning, and the sun was warming the air to an unseasonably warm temperature.

At Starbucks we ordered our drinks, found some comfortable chairs and began to read, play our iPod/iPhones and talk. It was wonderful. After a little while Hayley looked quite tired, so I offered to hold her on my lap as I read. She squirmed around a bit to get comfortable and dozed off to a restful sleep. Then she puked. All. Over. Me. Where in the hell did all that oatmeal come from, and how did two oatmeal packets turn into quarts of oatmeal vomit?

Hayley resting peacefully
Photo: Kirsten Uhler

Dorothy, a frequent Starbucks customer and barista, kindly got me two clean wet washcloths so I could begin to remedy this embarrassing and completely disgustingly awful situation. When the worst of the vomit was off the chair and floor I went to the bathroom to clean myself. Kirsten had already rushed Hayley off to the women’s restroom so she could continue to purge the putrid oatmeal from her unusually gargantuan stomach.

After the chunks were off my shirt and shorts I walked home to get the car–alone, and soaking wet.

Hayley and I have now showered and life has returned to its usual blissful state. Hayley seems to be feeling well, but is carrying a bowl, just in case.